Why do hotel showers have the most complicated controls known to mankind?

Stayed in a hotel in Berlin, and the shower had approximately 47 buttons, three dials, and what appeared to be a touch screen.

I just wanted water. Hot water. On my body.

Instead, I got: ice-cold spray from an unexpected ceiling nozzle, a jet that shot directly at the wall, some sort of mist function that did absolutely nothing, and then scalding lava from the handheld at full pressure that nearly took my skin off.

Fifteen minutes of fiddling later, I'd flooded the bathroom and still hadn't figured out normal shower mode. Just stood there defeated, covered in soap, questioning my intelligence.

Why can't hotel showers just have the standard setup? One dial, turn left for hot, turn right for cold, pull the thing to make it come out. Why do they need to reinvent the shower experience?